Act 1: The Yard Sale.
Saturday dawned bright, warm and clear. Participation in the sale was phenomenal. Not only can you see all of my junk, and the wonderful treasures of those two neighbors across the street, but you can't see the house to the right, the duplex to the left across the street, and all my neighbors to the left all the way down to and including the B&B, as well as half the duplex on 14th and the lovely green house on the corner. It was amazing! Of course, even though everyone knows that Early Birds are pests, we had people as early as 6:30, when the sale was to begin at 8. We ran them off, impudent types. It was clear that everyone returned, and then some! By 10 a.m. we had around 300 people through the street. People were parking around the entire block. The next block.
The guy next door sold out first. Sold clean out. He was happy about it, since he had just moved in and, you know, when you move, you realize how much stuff you have that you don't need, but you're moving, so you can't ditch it right there?
Schnauzer Mom, across the street was the next to go. She was on the sunny side of the street, something I typically envy because the gardens are so much better, but not during extended periods out. She was hot, she packed up and went in.
Across the street, Bunny Lady was getting close to her afternoon nap time, something I can thoroughly respect. So what did she do? Cut everything half off! It was like having Wal-Mart right across the street! I had no choice. I had to underpay my employees, pressure my suppliers to move their factories to China and do the same.
The last of the hoards went through, and now only a trickle of people remained. Yard sales are one of the few things where I heartily agree with those early birds getting the worm. The whole shebang was packed up by 1 p.m. I was out taking down the signs by that time, actually. About 20 poor souls crept down the street for the rest of the day, looking confused, as if they'd read the ad wrong.
This is when Star of the Sea began to have a Twilight Zone experience. Their doors were open right then and all of the sudden, a steady stream of cars began to appear at SOTS, dropping off copious loads of leftovers.
Already, many neighbors are talking about doing another one at the end of the summer. Shoot, can I find enough stuff by then? I don't now. But clearly, more than one can. I may defer to Viszla Man to investigate the marketability of said event.
Our total haul at this house: $100. Extra space and feng shui? Priceless. Besides, after I got rid of the leftovers (save the rowing machine in my front yard--if you know where I am, you are welcome to come steal it in the night), hit Lucy's books and padded my used book credit account and had to be home so we could blow the entire wad on pizza at Geno's and a screening of Wall E for Little Man's third birthday! I can't think of money more well spent (just don't tell my creditors that we actually threw caution to the wind and went out for a gratuitous good time, please). We had a great time. Wall E was fantastic, and Little Man sat next to me on his booster and was so good. He had his little snack tray, munched on his popcorn, drank his lemonade and laid his head on my shoulder.
After the movie, I started to get stressed, because today was Little Man's birthday party and the house was post-yard sale awful, plus I had a 47 minute file to transcribe, due today, plus the kids were grubby. SH came to the rescue and cleaned the house beyond recognition. I mean, it is really nice! Thank you Marine Corps for teaching him right! I got 25 minutes of the file done last night, passed out at 2 a.m. after cleaning the bathroom.
Act Two: Messin' With Us Cause She Can.
I woke up early to get all but 7 minutes done before the 5 p.m. deadline (party in between), SH continued to work on the house, I took Princess to get the Monster Cake that Little Man has wanted for months, with growling dinosaur who tries to bite you if you attempt to swipe the icing.
Like you locals, I shop at Freddy's a lot. And, aside from the high prices (which they can get away with, I mean, where else you gonna go?), I'm glad they're here, because we practically live there. I mean, they have the only decent toy department in town after Purple Cow is closed for the day, and you can find pretty obscure stuff there up to 11 p.m. at night. But what is UP with some of the employees lately? I don't mean the lovely cashier with the wire glasses who's about 50, or the affable overweight guy. But they've hired a couple of surly types lately (must have been fired from JoAnn for being too NICE!). Three nights ago, I was waiting in a long line, which was fine, when the U-Scan SS Officer came over and argued with me because I wouldn't bring my groceries over to the job-stealing, benefits-stealing do-it-yourself registers. He's all like, "Well, you use an ATM, and that put tellers out of business," and I'm all "I use the ATM if the bank is freaking closed, can I use your U Scan to get my baby wipes at 2 a.m.? Not the same thing." I mean, WTF? Dude, I don't want to use your stupid self-serve registers. What will you want me to do next, stock the stuff?
But today took the cake. I go in with Princess and we are on a deadline for sure. The party is at 1. So, we efficiently zip around the store, which is crowded, but it's Sunday near payday, so no point in crimping your Zen over that. We were making great time, got the ice cream, got the fabulous cake, got some sodas for the party, and ended up at Register 18 by the Electronics Section. Then, it all went to shit.
The portly woman at the register took the comforter from the one man in front of us, so I unloaded on the conveyor belt, the cake making me nervous because it had volcanoes and shouldn't be moved much. The cashier turned the bagged bedding set over and over in her hands. Over and over. Over and over. No tag. Turn again. Turn back. No UPC.
"There's no price tag," she flatly told the man, who informed her that other than the display, it was the last one, but it was on sale in the flier, which she had at the end of the register.
"That doesn't do me any good," she said. "I can't ring it up. You'll have to go back and tear the tag off the shelf."
"Can you let her go next?" asked That Poor Man.
"No," Specs said, flatly. Because, like, he has NO other items and there's NO UPC so like the order hasn't been freaking started yet so she couldn't possibly have taken other customers.
The poor man (who I never blamed for this mess) made his way across the store to the bedding department, but returned. There was no shelf tag, as the item had sold out. The only thing left was the little orange triangle sign on the display bed, and if he took that, wouldn't that put the next customer who bought the set in the same fix?
"I can't ring it up without the tag," said Specs, flatly. So back the poor man went, apologizing to me the entire time. Meanwhile, people are lining up behind me and I tell them, "You don't want this line." One look and they knew I wasn't lying. They went to other lines, though not the dreaded U Scan.
The man showed up again, but, surprise, the display tag didn't have the UPC. So now Specs has to call the department. While she chats with the person on the other end (and if it had been the wonderful woman in her 80s or the great pepper-haired lady in her 50s, the problem would have been solved, I'm sure), I start ringing up SH to tell him that I am in the Line From Hell but don't want to move the cake, plus how long can this possibly take, it's only bee 10 minutes so far, as the ice cream starts to ooze. I shoo away two more customers to more efficient lines, hang up the phone and see, impossibly, the girl hand the phone to That Poor Man. He attempts to explain to whoever is in linens. I can't tell if it's successful or not, but he hands the phone back to Specs, who chats a bit longer.
Finally, I ask, "Do you think this will take much longer?"
"Yes," this time Specs smiles. "Mirthless will help you at U Scan."
That Poor Man helps me remove all my stuff from the belt (like, an employee couldn't possibly do), mutters his apologies. I give him my most empathetic look, tell him it's okay, and roll over to Mirthless' actual register, because I'll be buggered if I'm going to ruin this cake by the scanner and collapse Vesuvius. She is clearly unhappy with this arrangement because the handy four U Scans that she's expected to monitor constantly are full of customers having coupon malfunctions or paying by check, but she sullenly rings me up and we are off.
Act Three: A Great Party.
I couldn't stay miffed long (besides, technically That Poor Man had the living hell abused out of him, not me), because it was now party time and Little Man would get his fabulous cake! The day was beautiful again, the friends started arriving, the doors were open and a breeze went through the house. SH started up the BBQ, people and kids scattered over the yard, porch and house. It was great! Little Man showed off his new Hulk Smash Hands, Princess totally bonded with her new BFF, who will be attending SOTS with her next year, I had my girlfriends over, SH had his guy friends, it was totally cool! Couldn't have gone better.
Act Four: The Pleasures of a Nice Walk.
I come from a family of walkers. Even when I was very small, I can remember walking with my grandparents, my parents, my ex in-laws, my ex, after dinners, in the evening. We liked to walk. There was nothing better after Thanksgiving dinner than a long walk, for instance, but it was a regular thing, even when we didn't have dogs. I remember walking to the Akron in Pasadena with my dad when I was about four, and home from the LA Arboretum when I was about the same age. We walked 3/4 of a mile to elementary school each way and over a mile each way to high school. So I can't fathom that, especially when the weather is so rarely wonderful, that everybody without painful legs or feet isn't out there. To be truthful, Astoria is visibly more hoppin' than usual lately. There are a lot of people out and about. But it's a great walking town, there are sidewalks nearly everywhere, so I grab a dog and typically have one of the two girls with me, and off we go. And it's great.
Walking allows you to see things you just can't get from a car. You need to be going slowly to notice all the bulbs coming up, that they're scraping this house for painting, or to smell the freshly mown grass that seems to be everywhere these days. You can read the stamps from the 30s in the concrete on the corners of the sidewalks, or there's always something interesting to see in the Deals Only or Thiel's Music windows. Tonight, I had Pony Dog and Princess and off we went. Tonight was obviously going to be a flower-collecting night, because Princess wanted to make her own perfume. So we stopped and smelled flowers until we were positively stuffy from all the pollen. And she was telling me all about her life and things that were important to her and how her life was going.
Act 5: Knitting Looms and Me.
And here I am, home, in a clean house, I didn't have to fix dinner, I don't have any files, the weather is dreamy through our open windows, and I am about to begin my latest obsession, my knitter! I threw caution (and around $12) to the wind at Joann (which, like Freddy's and a Band-Aid, is so useful, you're glad you have them, but can sting from time to time) and I love this thing! After a test hat, which went to the kids' Build a Bear, I have made my youngest sister a baby hat, have completed a soft, fuzzy hat for SH, and have projects lined up around the block. You can make ponchos! Headbands! You have to understand, I can cross stitch to beat the band, but I have never gotten the hang of traditional crochet or knitting. So, with my yard sale money, and another 40% off coupon, I raced back to JoAnn and got the long loom set, so I can make blankets!! Look for something warm and fuzzy near you. I just feel so darned crafty now!
Epilogue: Playing Catch-Up.
I think the worst is over. The big events, sleepovers, parties and the first swath of post-winter yard work, plus the yard sale organizing is over. I am longing for something more like a summer pace, and hopefully I will be finding it. It's my vacation, too, after all, since we home school.
I think this entry is long enough so that:
1. Nobody will read it anyhow and
2. I've done penance for neglecting his blog during that time and finally
3. Caught anyone who cares up to date.
I feel tired, accomplished, happy, warm and best of all now relaxed! I hope to see you out there, too, away from your computers, strolling with your dogs, children, spouses or even with your own thoughts.
